1. When I was born, I was given a choice – A big
dick or a good memory.
I don’t remember, what I chose.

2. Your birth certificate is an apology letter from the
condom factory.

3. A wife is a sex object. Every time you ask for sex,
she objects.

4. Impotence: Nature’s way of saying ‘No hard

5. There are only two four letter words that are
offensive to men – ‘don’t’
and ‘stop’, unless they are used together.

6. Panties: Not the best thing on earth, but next to the
best thing on earth.

7. There are three stages of sex in a man’s life:
Tri-Weekly, Try Weekly, and
Try Weakly.

8. Virginity can be cured.

9. Virginity is not dignity, its lack of opportunity.

10. Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don’t
have a good partner,
you’d better have a good hand.

11. I tried phone sex once, but the holes in the dialer
were too small.

12. Marriage is the only war where you get to sleep with
the enemy.

13. Q: What’s an Australian kiss?

A: The same thing as a French kiss, only down under.

14. A couple just married were happy with the whole
thing. He was happy with
the Hole and she was happy with the Thing……

15. Q: Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact?

A: Breasts don’t have eyes.

16. Despite the old saying, ‘ Don ‘t take your
troubles to bed’, many men
still sleep with their wives!!