Reasons I’ll never be a romance heroine
- I’m a healthy 5’7” , so in order to “just reach his shoulders”, he would have to be at least 6’6” . How many tall guys do you think there are?
- Because I don’t ask guys for help. Not even when I need it.I’ve learned to reinstall my Windows and repair howsehold appliances, the rest I’ll just wing it
- Because I like men-sports.
- If my boss wanted to sleep with me, I’d slap a 100 000$ law suit on his ass.
- I have a chest, but no one has ever gone speecless from seeing it
- I actually need a monthly wax, daily scrubing and moisturizer in order to have a smooth skin
- When I wake up in the morning I don’t look “sexy rumpled”, but with a bad case of bed hair, morning breath, red eyes and a need to visit the bathroom, have a caffeine IV and a smoke
- I would never say to a man that I’ve just met and brought home “Forget the condom, I want to feel you in me without that latex thing”
- I’d never bring home a man I’ve just met that night, however hot he is
- If I’d see a 10” “hammer”, I’d run screaming into the night, not “link my lips and spread my legs”
- If I’d try to run from the assassin/rapist/average bad guy, he’d catch up in about 50 meters and drag a fainted me back to his evil lair
- I’m 24, but I’m not a virgin
- Even when I was a virgin, I knew exactly what the act entitled, and I dreaded the first few times
- When presented with a certain view of male anatomy I have never wondered myself or anybody else “What does that do?”, “How will it ever fit?” or “How exactly does this work?”
- The idea of having sex with someone who has slept with dozens of other women is unappealing…like taking a number at the deli counter – „now serving no.46„
- My house does not look “pleasantly lived-in and full of personality”, but rather like “a bomb exploded in downtown Bagdad at rush-hour”
- I curse like a sailor when I’m furious
- Nobody is ever going to look at me and feel a rush of protective instinct.