Reasons I’ll never be a romance heroine

  • I’m a healthy 5’7” , so in order to “just reach his shoulders”, he would have to be at least 6’6” . How many tall guys do you think there are?
  • Because I don’t ask guys for help. Not even when I need it.I’ve learned to reinstall my Windows and repair howsehold appliances, the rest I’ll just wing it
  • Because I like men-sports.
  • If my boss wanted to sleep with me, I’d slap a 100 000$ law suit on his ass.
  • I have a chest, but no one has ever gone speecless from seeing it
  • I actually need a monthly wax, daily scrubing and moisturizer in order to have a smooth skin
  • When I wake up in the morning I don’t look “sexy rumpled”, but with a bad case of bed hair, morning breath, red eyes and a need to visit the bathroom, have a caffeine IV and a smoke
  • I would never say to a man that I’ve just met and brought home “Forget the condom, I want to feel you in me without that latex thing
  • I’d never bring home a man I’ve just met that night, however hot he is
  • If I’d see a 10” “hammer”, I’d run screaming into the night, not “link my lips and spread my legs
  • If I’d try to run from the assassin/rapist/average bad guy, he’d catch up in about 50 meters and drag a fainted me back to his evil lair
  • I’m 24, but I’m not a virgin
  • Even when I was a virgin, I knew exactly what the act entitled, and I dreaded the first few times
  • When presented with a certain view of male anatomy I have never wondered myself or anybody else “What does that do?”,How will it ever fit?” or “How exactly does this work?”
  • The idea of having sex with someone who has slept with dozens of other women is unappealing…like taking a number at the deli counter – „now serving no.46
  • My house does not look “pleasantly lived-in and full of personality”, but rather like “a bomb exploded in downtown Bagdad at rush-hour
  • I curse like a sailor when I’m furious
  • Nobody is ever going to look at me and feel a rush of protective instinct.

Well, the holiday has gone and past, and sice I had some free time on my hands, I’m sorry to inform you that I’ve fallen into the evil clutches of the Romance Novels Evil Masterminds.

In other words, I just read a bunch of books written by women…along the lines of Sandra Brown and Danielle Steel. Yes, I’ve become brain-washed and a romantic fiction addict, deal with it!!!

Which gave me the idea of these lists:


Reasons why romance novels are clearly fiction

  • The 26-year-old virgin is as elusive as the Loch Ness monster
  • 30-year-old billionairs have had 40 years worth of plastic surgery
  • Not all men have 10” “tools”
  • Not all women’s nipples are “small and pink”
  • Women don’t have an orgasm just by tasting their partner’s cum, and men do not say “You taste like peaches, I want to do this forever” when going down on a woman

Recuperez timpul in care am lipsit 😀

Sinceritatea absoluta e ceva tot atat de neconfortabil ca si minciuna perpetua.

De regula e bine sa ai un barbat pe langa casa omului, cu exceptia cazurilor cand este bolnav, somer sau pensionar

Complexitatea unui program va creste pâna va depasi capacitatea de întelegere a operatorului care trebuie sa lucreze cu el.

Ca sa intelegi ca esti prost trebuie totusi sa-ti mearga mintea.

Este de o mie de ori mai bine sa fii optimist si sa te inseli, decat sa fii pesimist si sa ai dreptate.

Munca in echipa presupune in primul rand sa-ti pierzi jumatate din timp explicandu-le celorlalti de ce nu au dreptate.

E loc sub soare pentru toata lumea. Mai ales ca toata lumea vrea sa stea la umbra.

Primul om care a preferat sa injure decat sa dea cu piatra poate fi considerat inventatorul civilizatiei.

Logica este ceea ce ne ajuta sa gresim cu fermitate.

Barbatul nu este infidel, el are capricii trecatoare.

There’s a fine line between genius and insanity. I have erased this line.

All the good ones are gay, married, or fictional characters in books or movies